Category: the Rant Board
Is there some way I can just shut myself off without killing myself or turning back on again like sleeping and waking up? I feel like crap! I should've slipped last week when I had the chance so I could've had a nice Friday Nightfall, but no, I'm on my period this week, so satisfaction for me unless I had Hansi right here and we went the other way as he sometimes likes to. Yeah right, it costs too much money to fly to Krefeld at the drop of a hat like I'd love to... I'm just too sick and fucking tired of having too many problems and not getting them fixed. I'm tired of ebay and half.com fucking me over because I'm still registered with an old email that i can't check to see if the sender of the thing I'm ordering really needs some kind of confirmation, so I've had like three or four orders cancel on me and you damn well know how much I fucking hate cancellations, I've had enough of cancellations, and it's not like the sender can promise to get me what I ordered in like five years time or so just as soon as he finishes making another one, just like the other promise I'm waiting oh so desparately for and can't even acknowledge the fact that I feel anything for Hansi because I'm physically depleated now and am bleeding where i should be cumming and I should've been fucked by [info]renegade_rocker last spring like I wanted to be, just so I could stop being a lame-ass retarded disrespected goody-two-shoe purehearted fucking virgin! i don't even know where the nearest psych ward is or I'd lock myself up in it and eat the key and if I shit it out, I'd flush it down the toilet and grind it up so I'd never escape. Just put me on a thorazine drip to kill all these thoughts, make sure I'm in a dark room where i can't see or even hear anything, and I'd be happy as hell! I'm way too tired of the way my life is going, but I want to have a life, so no suicidal tendencies here... except maybe wanting to pour a bottle of ammonia in my eye sockets and be totally blind so I don't have to be stuck or non-progressive or whatever you call someone with a disorder no one cares about! Only three other people I know have Optic Nerve Hypoplasia and all the rest are the glorious retinally damaged people who get all the media hype and attention, all the artificial eye parts, all the everything! I would so much rather have my eyes bleeding than anything else right now. Where's a nail gun or something... I really really really can't take this!
Gosh, at least one can say you know perfectly how to use the rant board. ;)
I was rather amused by the sheer amount f ranting, made my day look better, I won't even begin to list out the programming issues .
So, hope things get better. Sign up again for PayPal and Ebay with a new email address.
Jeez, do one constructive thing every day until most of this stuff is fixed, it's just a bunch of minor things adding up to a miserable day, at least there's nothing excessively awful going on .. sort it out, you can.
cheers
-B
not like starving to death, or surviving amid the Tsunami wreckage,hmmm and there are medical solutions for your problem its not the end of the world...christ who's wallowing in self pity....
....A family in Glasgow lost their
2yr old son today to a gunman,I feel more grief for them than I ever will for your pathetic self pity!
Non progressive? Wow, get over it, people...
James
that's an impressive list of perceived problems there, but I say perceived as my impression is that you make them a dozen times worse by feeling sorry for yourself in the rather piteous manner that you demonstrate here. some people have got far more serious things to worry about, just remember that. Some people I know are about to fail the bar exams and land themselves with debts of up to £15000. Now there's a real problem for you! All this other stuff seems somewhat trivial adolescent claptrap.
absolutely i cannot stand pity and this form is nauseating ...
Melodica, from what I've seen on your LJ and what you've told me on Messenger. The only way you can get rid of all of this negitive bull shit is by seeking professional help. Don't say anything to your parents until you've made the decision for yourself. And that also means that you have the right to find the right therapist. I'd let work help you find one as they might know of a great therapist. I understand your mom worked in the medical field but when you said "She wants to pick the therapist out because she didn't like it. (could be worded differently)" that means you're too dependant. Now I know you're 21 now, going to be 22 this October. That means you're a adult, and you need to do things for yourself. That means you need to go onto websites that have directories to therapists to find one. And by the way they can no longer tell you where you're allowed to go to seek help, and assistance so get over your self pitty and start looking! The sooner you find a therapist to listen to you dwell out your feelings the better.
I agree with BlindVI. I don't know ya well but getting help is always the best thign to do in these instances. Take care Kate. XOOXOX.
I do now know the seriousness of this particular person's plight emotionally, but it seems that in certain quarters people are far too quick to resort to therapy. As far as I can see, the problems she's moaning about are normal biological functions, the absence of her boyfriend and the fact that she didn't see any action last spring. Now call me a bluff old traditionalist if you will, but you don't need any therapy to get over that for goodness sake! As to the first situation, short of sterilisation there's not a lot you can do about it. AS to the second, absence makes the heart grow fonder and many people have to put up with the absence of thteir partners for a good deal of time. As to the third, if you carried on like this last spring I can see why you didn't get any action! Seek help if the problems are more serious than this, but if what you have told us is really the true extent of your turmoil, then reverse the trend and snap out of it! Don't get me wrong, I hope you do feel better by, for instance, gaining a sense of perspective, but therapy alone won't help even if you do need it. You have to make an effort yourself and from the various posts of yours that I have read, melodica, you don't appear to be making much of one.
I've known her for a good year now and pretty much it's beyond all of that. I'm not gonna go into the real depths of what really might be bothering her but those who know her who read her LJ should know of a certain obsession thats been bothering her lately. And what her family did to her. I think she's old enough to make that decision on her own. She freaked not only me, but another person on Messenger the other night with her actions. I'd rather she at least attempt it and if the therapist says there's no need for professional help great, then yeah this is normal biological stuff she has to go through on her own.
if it makes you feel anybetter. I lost my site fdue to damage of my optic nerve also. smile- angel
Be all that as it may, I remain to be convinced. If what you're suggesting is some sort of abuse then perhaps that would explain it, but at the moment it just seems like she's wallowing in self-pity.
I agree with blindvi. Do you have a vision rehab center where you live? They also might be able to help you adjust. I have been in vision rehab for a year and I've learned a lot of things that makes me want to be on my own more and more every day.
Troy
I think the mindless drivel about her eyes is because she's short of attention. there's nothing in the above, which incidentally I have just reread, that seems to suggest she is having trouble with independence due to her eye condition. In fact, she seems to be moaning because her eyes aren't damaged enough! Now there's a first for you! I've never known anyone get media attention because of retinal damage, except frank bruno of course but he was a boxer so it was quite important that he could see well (Not that it made much difference when he fought a top class fighter like Lennox Lewis though). But I digress. The other problem she seems to have viz. E-bay and the cancellation of orders is in my view perhaps the most realistic of the five problems she's enumerated, the rest being self-imposed angst-riv'n flights of fancy. My conclusion is therefore that she does not need rehabilitation designed for those who have just lost their sight (Especially as her case, such as it is, depends on the incredible premmice that she hasn't lost enough!) but instead she needs real help or alternatively, to get a long overdue sense of perspective. People who have just lost their sight, now they have real difficulties and probably think they'll never even be able to cancel anything on E-bay again, let alone receive a cancellation! Melodica just has a considerable amount of learning to do, that's all.
And as far as I can tell, she hasn't started yet. So get yourself together young lass and let's have no more of this attention-seeking nonsense eh? The more I think about your dilemma, the more I believe it's not therapy you need, but a ticket to real life.
I'm not sure what to say, but yes, this does indeed sound like a pitty party, and if she's been waiting for what, a year regarding some half.com order, odds are it was canceled within a week's time, since that's how these services usually work, so get a new user ID, new email, and just start over! As for the obsession, desire to get laid (or that's how it's sounding anyway), I think it's more a mind game than anything, and I'm not sure what shrinks or anyone of that sort can do for you that you can't do for yourself. You have to want this help, and frankly, I don't see a true desire for help or wellness being expressed in these words. There's only so much a shrink can do for an individual, if he/she doesn't want the help to begin with.
Oh come on, you all seem to be taking Melodica's post *way* too seriously. The girl was just having a bad day and felt like ranting, so she did. It doesn't necessarily have to imply excessive self-pity or any deeper issues (though of course it might, I don't know Melodica). You guys should hear me when I'm having a lousy day (some of you have bene fortunate enough to have the privilege *grin*). I'll actually rant and bi*** about the grocery store not carrying the cookies I am craving, or someone on the bus wearing perfume that is too strong, or my computer freezing up on me... all completely inconsequential stuff, and it really doesn't mean that I think my lot in life is so much worse than anyone else's, I'm just feeling nasty and want to complain because, believe it or not, sometime that is a relief. It seems to me that Melodica was doing exactly that: having a good old bi***ing session. Nothing wrong with that, and certainly not a sufficient basis for diagnosing her in absentia with "issues". From my corner, all I can say is: nice rant, Melodica! :-)
Oh come on, you all seem to be taking Melodica's post *way* too seriously. The girl was just having a bad day and felt like ranting, so she did. It doesn't necessarily have to imply excessive self-pity or any deeper issues (though of course it might, I don't know Melodica). You guys should hear me when I'm having a lousy day (some of you have bene fortunate enough to have the privilege *grin*). I'll actually rant and bi*** about the grocery store not carrying the cookies I am craving, or someone on the bus wearing perfume that is too strong, or my computer freezing up on me... all completely inconsequential stuff, and it really doesn't mean that I think my lot in life is so much worse than anyone else's, I'm just feeling nasty and want to complain because, believe it or not, sometime that is a relief. It seems to me that Melodica was doing exactly that: having a good old bi***ing session. Nothing wrong with that, and certainly not a sufficient basis for diagnosing her in absentia with "issues". From my corner, all I can say is: nice rant, Melodica! :-)
you lot are totally unbelievable! Poor Melodica wrote for some friendly advice and all she got was ridicule! totally unbelievable how heartless some people are! I think those of you who like flaming therapy is cos they're totally closed-up and too afraid to get it themselves, when some of you could probably do with some.
So stop being so hurtful and try putting yourselves in someone else's shoes for once for damn well crying out loud!
I would take this as a harmless rant but I think it probably goes beyond that I regret to say. susanne if you rant about perfume that's a quite different matter. to use the words of another who has posted to this incredible topic, the above demonstrates an unhealthy obsession with getting laid. not that this is unhealthy in itself but it's incredible the way the trivial hurts have almost brought down the tower and that wasn't meant to be a double-entendre so get your minds out of the sodding gutter! Rdfreak there's a difference between advice and being told what you want to hear. the latter is what I believe Melodica was seeking, and I am happy not to have provided. Heartless? I think not. It is better that such angst is curtailed as soon as possible really, and fare words butter no parsnips.
And Susanne, I regret to say that if you rant about perfume, inter alia, that is also slightly concerning.
Not in a clinical way of course, but in a sort of eyebrows-raising brand of polite incredulity.
Melodica...re your point about 'satisfaction', you need neither a man nor the absence of a period of achieve this so I suggest you use your.....imagination. Frey.
If she were a bloke getting up to that sort of thing she'd go blind! My friend's mum used to point at blind people as we passed them in the street and proclaim in a carrying tone, "See, Jimmy? That's what you'll end up like if you keep fiddling with yourself!"
"the fiddler on the roof" .. takes a whole new meaning this way ...
Fiddler on the roof? Isn't that the one with that song that goes "If I were a rich man, eedle-deedled-deedle-didle-deedle-didle-dum? Makes about as much sense as our Melodica above.
I pride myself on making little sense on the Zone, I think making no sense here is the most sensible appraoch, as it were, now does that make sense?
Well if one attempts to make sense on the zone, one either loses one's audience or gets a whole hoast of complaints from the blind lobby or the hypersensitive fundamentalists, the veritable terrorists of quality discussion who should be subject to control orders if the Lawlord has reasonable suspicion that they are about to commit tcts of terrorism on topics on the boards. The control orders are absolutely necessary. what's that? Civil liberties? Evidence? Proof? Trials? never heard of 'em I tell you! No of course we can't tell them what they're charged with! That would give away what we know about them, or what we don't know about it.
Lawlord you are wrong about the lack of treatment for menstrual problems, there is the Merena Coil among others, which dramatically reduces bleeding and pain ect..
please please that kind of advice belongs on the health topics ... TMI
Oh, my apologies! Now all of a sudden I'm supposed to be able to dispense advice on the menstrual cycle am I? Goblin there will be quite a lot of guys out there who think that the menstrual cycle is some form of bicycle, so I'm not doing badly really even though i don't know about the finer points of treatment for this sort of thing. And that's not an invitation for people to come on here and fill us all in. I'm sure you lasses cope, or most of you at least.
no no please not, need to know basis, and we do not wish to know, lol
I just wish to say that if Melodica wanted to do what she describes at the beginning of this thread so badly she'd do it but clearly she doesn't she'd just rather that everyone's attention was focused on her self-pitty. That's why she talks about it here in a public forum where hardly noone knows her instead of just going ahead and doing the things she describes in her first post to this thread.
All I have to say is the menstral cycle is a bloody strnge thing ...
And WW point taken but I have to observe you'd make a really bad cheer leader
We don't have cheer leaders in this country thank god. British fans cheer of their own accord, without being prompted. Still, it's something to do I suppose, in the American sports which have to have a commercial break every 30 seconds.
but LawLord, the British do, their cheer leading comes in cans or bottles though and is brewed up by the master's of the art.
cheers
-B
yeh, and we have those rugby/football fans who sing those lovely chants at the matches ... i guess that could be described as a form of cheerleading - just because they don't wear short skirts ... etc
But they do it of their own accord, it isn't staged mi' old geezers. Masters of the art? Very kind of you to say so old lad, although I do have to say that very good beer comes from germany too.
Well, I will have to add Denmark to the list of good beer makers, the Tuborg Christmas brew is one of the best beers out there and VIP which is a slightly cheaper domestic Danish beer is fantastic. Still nothing beats Hobgoblin, in my opinion.
Yeah it's a nice ale that. You should try Newcastle Brown Ale as well. It's splendid. They serve it in the City of York, which is a pub not at all far from Chancery Lane tube station, which in turn is not at all that far from the Inns of court school of Law, where the lawlord's legal instruction is currently taking place.
Newcastle Brown ale is very popular in the U.S. and I quite like it. However I got the feeling it is some Americanized watered down version of the original (guinnes certainly is) so I'd have to try "the real thing" to properly judge its merits .
Cheers
-B
Now you are straying right off topic here boys and if you are not careful I will have to call out those topic police once again!
And of course they could detain us without telling us why, provided there were reasonable suspicion for so doing. Trials? Trials are for fairies!
what about pixies and (dare I say it) Goblins aswell...
I think only brownies and gnomes get trials far as I know. Dunno about dwarves or hobbits.
No no no no no! charles Clarke has said that if he doesn't like the look of you, he can lock you up forever and ever and ever if he wants without even charging you or putting you on trial! Fairies are the only ones who don't look dodgy enough, the rest are all potential terrorists especially that Goblin geezer. Oops I'm going to get complaints about that now I suppose!